Tracking the wily conservative

Village Voice writer Rick Perlstein flies over flyover country and lands in such exotic locations as Portland, Oregon, where he finds gatherings (herds?) of conservatives meeting at watering holes communicating in their "bewilderingly disjointed" speech about things they like about Bush (the gathering was one of many called "Parties for Bush"--undoubtedly fund-raisers for the election campaign. Fortunately, liberals don't need to do anything barbaric like raising money for a campaign, having billionaire George Soros pledging his fortune to the effort and another billionaire conveniently married to the candidate. Anyway, fund-raising must be one way of telling the difference between liberals and conservatives, sort of like the order of stripes on a king snake and a coral snake, but back to Perlstein).

He also found a conservative living in Georgia. It must have belonged to a different sub-species, though, because Perlstein said that he was "an intelligent man who's open-minded enough to make listening to liberals a sort of hobby."

I was impressed with the level of danger and personal sacrifice Perlstein had to endure to make this "journey among the 'tough love' camp." After all, you never know when conservatives might turn on you, unless you happen to be George W. Bush:

The people who, even in the face of evidence of his casual cruelty, of his habitual and unchristian contempt for weakness, love George Bush unconditionally: love him when he is tender, love him when he is tough—but who never, ever are tough on him.

For a good laugh, read the whole thing. It reads as if it's narrated by Marlin Perkins. Warning: Swallow your coffee before beginning. The article may cause a serious spewing or gag reaction.

SOURCE: Allah Is in the House